Remember Him, His faithfulness and His promises

I guess when i started out penning my thoughts out on this blog, i meant it to be a place of remembrance of  His goodness and also to encourage and spur other brothers and sisters on.

Well it has been almost 2 years since i last visited this blog. I guess it’s a season to pen down my thoughts again.

Desert Time – Psalm 71

²⁰ You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

Recently, working has been a little out of control. Many times, i felt like i lacked joy in the things i do in school – the catching, reprimanding, frowning.. Some days i just can’t wait for the day to end and try again the next day, going to bed hoping that the next day will be a better one. But somehow, last 2 weeks had been especially trying.

⁹ Do not cast me off in the time of old age;
Do not forsake me when my strength fails.

I must confess that ever since i started work this year, the time spent with God really really suffer quite a bit. Can’t wake up earlier than 5 plus to spend time because of physical tiredness, can’t find appropriate time in school (like in between lessons) to read the devotional book. Even if i do have time, i am not spending time but perhaps just “showing face” and buying my own conscience that, “Ok, i have read today’s”. Ya, it has been that bad i guess.

¹⁶ I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD;

But of course, that’s not how i will continue to leave things to be. I am still stuck in this situation, one which i thought i never will be. Such a dry period of time. Kept feeling like i am in a desert and i am so thirsty and as each day passes by, i felt like my energy is diminishing. So thirsty, so tiring!

²⁰ You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

Strangely, i really cannot explain how convinced i am internally that this is just a phase in time, just something that i have to go through. And because of that, i know that i will have a way out definitely! And i know that God, You are definitely the one that is going to help me out! That is the only thing i kept coming back to, the only thing that kept me going on. And this morning, as i read this devotional passage from odb, i just felt reassured again – that, God will revive me. He will bring forth living waters in the desert. And i am very sure that this perfect peace will not come just only when we are in heaven, but even when we are on earth experiencing heavenly powers.

I want to start recording this down – really recording the struggle that i actually went through and hopefully one day it will be of an encouragement to people around me. Not that after i have posted this entry, i am well and up! Life will probably be the same in terms of routine and work, but i shall be mindful of how things can change even as i see His promises and assurances, and as i choose to partner Him more and more from this moment onwards.

A person was placed in a desert and she was naturally, frantically looking around for water while trying to get herself out of the place. At the start, she was able to survive with whatever water she has on herself, and was able to rely on physical strength in walking and searching. But overtime, the tiredness sinks in, and weariness creeps in. She has forgotten that in the human mind, it is simply impossible to find water in the desert…with her own strength and human understanding.

Maybe in the anxiety of wanting to get out of the desert, she has forgotten that there’s Somebody who can provide streams of water flowing in the desert. Finally when she couldn’t rely on her own strength anymore, she broke down and cried. She has no other ways left, but to simply believe and pray in One who has the ability to provide her with the water she needs.  🙂

It’s not about many ways to this issue, and they failed. But the truth is, there is only one way. Coming to God need not be the last resort, that should have been the first and only way to rely on.

It’s also not about where we are that matters. Whether or not we are in a place with water or not. Even in a place with river, the water can dry up. But really, what matters is whether we have the Provider to the source of water with us or not.

Shall share about Isaiah 35 the next entry – streams in the desert. 🙂

TEst

Name of Jesus

Name of Jesus
“Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth…” Phil 2:9-10

Today’s devotion is about the name of Jesus – the powerful name of the Lord!

I was having breakfast with godma and we saw this crippled guy with a speaker in a trolley. He was singing some hokkien song and asking for donation. My godma and I felt like giving him some money, was just feeling a little pai seh to do so. In the end I walked up to him and placed the notes inside his can and walked away, uttering “shen zhu fu ni”.

In the car we were discussing about what Jesus will do if He was with us. I was thinking Jesus will surely know what this guy is inflicted with and walked to him and say something like “Be healed. Go and sin no more!” something like that I guess.

Was reading the devotion today and the passage was actually about Paul healing the crippled man in Acts 3!

I think what God wants to direct me to is the part about what to say to this man – Paul said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.”

“what I have, I give you”
I believe what Paul has is the faith in Jesus to free the crippled man from his infirmity. And he gave it through speaking in the name of Jesus!

“And many recognized him”
I believe many recognized the cripple guy I saw today too. If we could all go about giving what we have to these people, many will see the power and glory of the Lord.

I don’t want to be stuck at the “if only” stage although I know it’s not easy but may God give me the boldness like Paul to go about proclaiming the name of the Lord!

Discover for yourself what the exalted name of the Lord can do. Speak with authority n confidence! Hallelujah!

I wanna praise..i wanna praise God!

I wanna praise, i wanna praise.. i wanna praise God! 😀

I wanna praise You God. You’re my marvelous, wonderful and sweet God. 😀

Context of my situation…

I had my formal observation by my supervisor from NIE today. When i received her email last weekend and learnt about the class she wants to observe, i was like “what…” because it wasnt a class that i can perform well in. Among all the 4 classes, she just got to choose that one..

Well, so i was a little worried about how to go about impressing her. You see when a supervisor comes from NIE to see your lesson, it should include things we learnt from NIE, and not all about frontal teaching. I was teaching on algebra and i cracked my head for the past few nights thinking what interesting way can i apply to it.

Yesterday before i slept, i looked through my lesson plan again i say this is it. I have no choice but to just carry out as best as i could. I prayed and i slept.

2 divine reminders..

I met Bipeng at jie’s dance concert on Sunday and chat with him a little about teaching. He reminded me about God’s favour – specifically asking me to ask from Him. A lot of times we hope to have favour, we desire to have favour..but we never really ask from God. And so it convicted me there and then..! I have to start asking!

This morning before my class started, i picked up my QT book and read it. A pastor shared he once was very disappointed whenever he goes for healing conference or prays for people without seeing them being healed. God spoke to him saying that He heals all the time. The pastor questioned, “how can it be. they are all not healed..” and God’s reply to him was, “I always heal. But my people must receive..”

After i read it i thought it didn’t apply to me, i thought i should be reading something about peace and all..but dwelling upon it further, i realized it is speaking to me! God grants favour to me, but it is up to me to receive it or not! 😀 Hallelujah! A simple truth but it got me excited for a moment..and so i proclaimed in my heart that i receive His favour from students, my sup, and my CT.

In the classroom…

I went in and was a little worried at the first sight of the classroom..students were still in front and all over the place. But thank God, it slowly began much better, with more order in the classroom! Students were not very responsive, but enough! For the first time, i thought they think that math is easy! I walked around and even students who used to reject math were doing their work!

My thoughts…

I really felt very glad while teaching, i knew that indeed it was God who allowed all these to happen. It was all God’s favour. 🙂

God, i thank You truly, from the bottom of my heart. Thank You for your favour, thank You for your grace and mercy. I just..love you God. 🙂

This is the air i breathe

Jeremiah 17

⁵ This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

⁶ He will be like a bush in the wastelands;
he will not see prosperity when it comes.
He will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

⁷ “But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

⁸ He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

The one week holiday passes by so fast..! I am starting school tomorrow again. *silent groans*

I learnt something about fear in this season of practicum teaching. There are times in life we know we are full of fear. But when we really think carefully about what are we fearful of, sometimes we do not know what is it that is causing us to be fearful of. Fear itself, can then be a lie.

I am fearful about going to school tomorrow and i can’t explain why. But I pray and i claim for peace right now in Jesus name. I was reminded just a few hours ago about asking for favour. A lot of times we want and need favour in our lives, our working place, with people around us and we get so worried and fearful when we know there isnt. But you know what? A lot of times these take place because we didnt ask for it. Let’s start asking our GENEROUS GOD for what we need.

Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

Clearly, God has given us His most precious, His own son, and God says how is it that He will not graciously give us all things??? Somebody shout hallelujah!

I am going to claim favour and wisdom and creativity everyday of my life before i start my work. God says He will give us and so He will!

I inserted Jer 17:17-18 at the top to remind myself that in this season, for the next 7 weeks, i shall not even for once rely on my own strength, but constantly remember to trust in the Lord, putting my confidence in Him. I shall be a tree that is planted beside the waters, tapping on the everflowing stream. I shall not be fearful of the heat, and always be healthy and green, and no matter the season, i shall always bear fruit. I can only do all these by trusting in HIM. 🙂

God, be with me even as i abide in You. I know You will. 🙂

God has said in Hebrews 13:5-6
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” ⁶So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?”

What can man do to me? 🙂 They can do everything to me..but i shall not be afraid for the Lord will be with me. Amen.

What did God give us?

This is my second week in school and things are going on well i guess. I am thankful for the CTs i have been given (although they are all males, and married, haha). I am thankful for the classes i have been given too. I am thankful for familiar faces i see in school, both students and teachers. I am thankful for the working place i am given, where i can fb and blog in between rest times without feeling fearful that someone might just peep over my shoulder and thats it..

I am thankful to God for putting me here, in this school. 2 weeks before my posting, i had a feeling i am coming here, but logically, i didn’t really think about it so quickly dismiss the thought. When the posting result was out, i was like “what..???” not in a negative tone though, but somewhat just find it altogether funny and.. and happy. 🙂 I felt that God was so humourous at the point of time although i do not know why.

I am using this picture as my current desktop background now. Each day i come to work, switch on the laptop, this will serve to remind me that my God did not give me a spirit of timidity. My God gives me a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

I think i am under some form of stress last week, unconsciously. I guess mental stress are the hardest to deal with. Anyway, so this picture on my desktop serves to remind me every now and then that no, i don’t need to be pressured by fear, but God has given me a spirit of power, spirit of love, and of self-discipline to handle whatever i need to!

Spirit of power – to overcome all fear that i might face
Spirit of love – to teach and minister with love
Spirit of self-discipline – to make sure i do my work on time (lesson plans, marking of assignments, blah blah blah…)

This shall be the verse that i will hold closely to in the next 9 weeks. 🙂

With all my heart

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

Every night before i sleep, you must have been smiling when i told You that i will wake up to praise you, to worship. Yet mMorning by morning, You must have been disappointed when i arise to not speak to You first before anything else. I know You are overjoyed too to hear me humming songs of worship in my heart when i plug in to my mp3. But i know Lord, you yearn for a even more intimate relationship with me.

God, i declare my love for you once again this morning. I want to fall in love with you all over again, i want to enjoy that deep intimate comfort i used to have in You. Father God, you never forsake me and you never depart from me. I am walking back to You. I will call upon you and pray to You. I will seek you, find You with all my heart.

I will Lord. I want to come close with You once more. Hugs for You.

Peace

Dear God,

I pray for your peace to be upon my family, dwell in my family, and always be with my family. I pray that you will bind the relationships in the family, no matter how scattered, broken, unlovely they are now, Lord may you continue to hold us as one. Father, i pray that even as a child of God that resides in my family, i pray that You’ll bring forth peace into the family. May you unfold all the misunderstandings we have, lies and delusions that each of us believe in be torn down, and may trust and love starts to build. May your healing of hurt, betrayal and mistrust come upon us all. Lord, they do not know how broken their hearts are, they do not know that they can come before you to present their hearts to you, and You’ll take them all. Lord, i know that you can, you love me, you love my family. Come into my family. I pray that God, you will start a new work in my family once again.

I pray especially for this Chinese new year, let your peace be and go with us. Let no more unhappiness takes place in the family, for i pray to you God, in Jesus name, amen.

Empower me

Nobody knows how weak I am
Better than You
Nobody sees all of my needs
Better than You
And nobody has
The power to change me
To what I was born to be
Jesus, be strong in my weakness
Empower me

Empower me
Like a rushing river flowing to the sea
Lord, send Your Holy Spirit
Flowing out through me
‘Til I’m living as Your child
Victorious and free
Send the power of Your love
Empower me

Nobody’s eyes see through my soul
Better than You
And nobody’s love can make me whole
No love but Yours
And nobody has the power
To lift me to reach for eternity
Jesus break through all my defences
Empower me

Empower me
Like a rushing river flowing to the sea
Lord, send Your Holy Spirit
Flowing out through me
‘Til I’m living as Your child
Victorious and free
Send the power of Your love
Empower me