[to cut long story short…]
I am currently under a scholarship scheme from MOE and i signed contract with them to teach after i graduate. They have been paying for my tuition fee every semester and giving me allowance. I really thank God for receiving this because the day i had my interview with them i really thought i will not get it (because the same interviewer asked me the same question 3 times..suggesting that my answer is not “correct”). Anyway, God is good! I got it! However, it was also in the contract that i need to hit a CAP score of 3.5 every semester which for the past 5 semesters, i never once hit it! (in fact i only got close to 3 most of the time..which is quite far from their expectation). I always wonder “why God.. why do i have to be so stressed up every semester over the 3.5, making me rather unhappy at times. (because each sem i don’t hit the target, they will email/call/meet me about it. But despite all that, they did not terminate my contract) I really consider myself not to be academically inclined, and it is so hard. I confess that there were times i even thought that if i do not get the scholarship from the beginning, things could have been better.
While i was reading the journey to Sinai as the Israelites moved out from Egypt, at the back of my mind i always thought “why are the Israelites so stubborn. Passed through red sea already still no faith in God?”. Then there was one night suddenly their complaints and grumblings make me pondered about my own “journey”. I felt like i was like them! Murmuring and grumbling all the way and even think if only i don’t get the scholarship (exactly like the Israelites when they think if only they are in egypt)..and i also experienced the miracles (the fact that i can pass the interview and that they did not terminate my contract at all!) Yet I was just like them! And i felt so bad. I repented there and then about my behaviour. The next day, my godma messaged me and said that she thanked God i got the award few years back. And i felt like God is really assuring me..and i was so glad that i get to learn this “lesson” before i end my university life..at least i can live the last 8 weeks with gratitude in my heart. I really thank God that i learnt it now and not after i graduate, which i believe i will regret a lot. Praise God! 😀